With all that has happened over the last few days, I've started wondering even more.
Wondering about what??
Wondering about whether or not I should actually have kids of my own. I've always wanted kids, but with all of this crap going on lately, I've considered NOT having children. It's been sitting heavy on my heart for several weeks now. Maybe even longer than that.
I've prayed about it. The answers I keep getting are to have children. Not to bypass having them. You know, if you ask, you shall receive that answers that you are looking for. Sometimes you just have to be quiet (or in a couple of instances, asleep) to receive those answers.
It's difficult for me. I have always wanted children. Children are truly a blessing from God himself. They are given to you perfect, or in many cases with disabilities, for a reason.
All I can do is pray and pray some more. I'm not going to defy what God is telling me to do...which is have children. I keep getting the same answer from him about this.....have children. He has the perfect child for me.
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