Still struggling

 As the title says, I'm struggling still.

It'll be okay though. Either today or tomorrow will mark 30 days since filing my divorce officially. I do plan on emailing my attorney to find out a quick update about this. Meaning do I have a court date vs has the judge been assigned? If one has been assigned, have they granted a default divorce?

I'm just ready for this to be over. I want to live my life. I have already moved on. He is refusing to sign the paperwork. I don't want to be married to him anymore. 

Again, I am just ready to move on. I'm regretting me decision to even marry the man. I never should have to begin with. I never should have given him a second date. Much less a third. 

The man I am dating loves me for me. He makes me feel loved, safe, wanted, protected, and that he truly loves me and that he is here to stay. I already know he isn't leaving me, and that he wants me for me. He doesn't ask for much, except love and respect in return. I truly feel safe and loved with him. I feel respected with him. I am learning how to love myself thanks to him. He's the greatest thing to ever walk into my life. I am forever grateful to him. 

I am waiting until my divorce is finalized to state that I am in a relationship with him. Once I'm free from the husband, I will share his name here as well. And possibly a picture of him. Haven't decided on that yet. 

No, I don't plan on sharing where he lives with ANYONE due to the soon to be ex. I don't want him to find where he lives. Not that the ex would win the fight. My new man would fight for me. He does not want to share me, and I don't want to share him. 

Dear Patrick,

If you read this, please sign the papers. Please move on to someone new. I am not the woman for you. I do not want to be the one for you. I have moved on. I need you to as well. 

Thank you!!!