All of this bad stuff

With all that has happened over the last few days, I've started wondering even more.

Wondering about what??

Wondering about whether or not I should actually have kids of my own. I've always wanted kids, but with all of this crap going on lately, I've considered NOT having children. It's been sitting heavy on my heart for several weeks now. Maybe even longer than that. 

I've prayed about it. The answers I keep getting are to have children. Not to bypass having them. You know, if you ask, you shall receive that answers that you are looking for. Sometimes you just have to be quiet (or in a couple of instances, asleep) to receive those answers. 

It's difficult for me. I have always wanted children. Children are truly a blessing from God himself. They are given to you perfect, or in many cases with disabilities, for a reason. 

All I can do is pray and pray some more. I'm not going to defy what God is telling me to do...which is have children. I keep getting the same answer from him about this.....have children. He has the perfect child for me. 

Cleaning....story of my life

Cleaning...it's the story of my life. Hate it but its necessary.

I haven't done that much, so maybe if I turned this tv off I'd get it done huh? Hehehe!!!

Bad thing is is that one of my fave shows is on right now. But the last one ends at 4:30. What's worse cause we have peeps coming over today!!!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!

So yes cleaning sucks. More so when your fave shows are on. Must get it done now tho. The sooner it's done the better I will feel.

Changed my name

Went to the social security office today and officially changed my name. It's now Erin Amanda B.... Not gonna spell out the last name all the way.

I had issues with deciding how to do my name. Erin Amanda c-b; Erin c b; Erin Amanda C.

BUT I went with Erin Amanda B. not bad at all. I'm just gla that I went ahead and did it today. Almost forgot about it too. I did yesterday. Lol!!!!!

So it's done. I'll officially be mrs b tomorrow morning.

My apartment

I HATE it!!!!!!

I have so many things going WRONG with it!!! There are leaks everywhere. My a/c unit keeps freezing up. My tiled tub is jacked up (enter other words there that aren't acceptable). I'm afraid for mold. It smells like an ashtray because of the neighbors right next door and below me...cigarette smoke comes through so easily and my fiancé and I don't smoke!!!!!!

God,
Please help me keep my sanity!!!

Chasing UFOs

Watching CHASING UFOS. I've seen a couple of the episodes.

I like watching stuff like this. Not quite sure why I do except for the fact that it sparks my interest. Interest in the supernatural. Interested in stuff that may or may not be real.

I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. I believe in angels. People are put into our lives for a reason. We see things that tests what we believe. UFOs are such a thing.

Ghosts and other paranormal things are some others. Might make us feel like we are going crazy at times, but all we can do is pray or fall prey into such things.

My day thus far.....

His white uniforms washed and in dryer...CHECK


Dishes in dish washer and being washed...CHECK


Towels washed, dried, folded, put away...CHECK


Load #1 of REGULAR clothes in washer...CHECK


Went to UAB Parking and Transportation...CHECK


I am now in Remote Parking...Lot #1. It's about 2.1 miles away from my apartment. I have a schedule for the bus route. I am also on the waiting list to get back into the 6th ave south parking deck. 


Why am I on the list to get back INTO the 6th ave south parking deck you ask??? That is because they are turning that parking deck into an EMPLOYEE ONLY deck. 


But aren't YOU an employee, Erin? Why yes I am...but I don't have a parking pass to get into the deck. So now there is only ONE public parking deck for guests and visitors that's remotely close to the hospital...that deck is the 4th ave south parking deck. 


How are we going to accommodate ALL of our visitors? Heck if I know!!!!! I know that all of the people that visit the hospital have family members in the hospital. I know that they aren't gonna want to walk BLOCKS just to get to the dang hospital to see said family member(s)!!! Kinda...no REALLY... ridiculous that we are going down to just ONE PUBLIC PARKING DECK for ALL OF OUR VISITORS!!!!!! Really pisses me off. IJS...


But, seeing as how I am a peeon, I have no say in what goes on with the parking decks.  All I can do is sit and scratch my head and wonder. I may be able to ask why, but it won't get me anywhere. I may be able to complain, but that REALLY won't get me anywhere. 


All I can do is hope and pray that I get that magical email from parking and transportation saying that I am back in the 6th ave parking deck. 

Waiting for kids.....

I may have posted about this already and if I have, I apologize!!!!!

But, as the title states, I am waiting to even have kids. Actually waiting to even start TRYING for kids for at least 6 years.

Crazy? Maybe. Smart? For me it is. I know that I want to be a mother. But being a mother is not what I want to concentrate on being right now. I want to work on my soon to be marriage first...THEN having kids.

I want to work on being a great wife to my husband. I want to travel (selfish, to some it might be), and I want to go back to school and get a degree...maybe nursing???

I want to better myself first and foremost. I want to have a career in something and still be a mother and housewife!!! What if I'm a stay at home mama and a housewife and all of a sudden I end up getting a divorce??! I'll need a career to fall back on for that. What if we run out of money and I have to go back to work? I'll need a degree/career of some sort for that. Yes I want to do BOTH. Both meaning stay at home mother/wife AND have a degree to fall back on for a career!!!!!

It seems like to me that alot of women think that they can't be good mother's if they work...I say that you can!!! It also seems like that being a stay at home mother/wife is expected of them...it shouldn't be!!! You shouldn't feel like you are expected to be one....only if you want to be one.

I want to be one if, and only IF, my and my husband's finances are secure enough...i.e. him being able to make enough money to support me, him, AND a child. If not, then I will be continuing to work, either full time or part time. It all depends on what his job is (he went to culinary school).

Eventually, I will be able to get onto his insurance and off of mine. But for now, I am keeping mine. Hopefully, he can come off of his and come onto mine for a while...or at least until he gets a better job. That way he can make more money for bills and stuff. I get paid every 2 weeks and insurance comes directly out of my check. So I don't miss it and I don't have to worry about having to send a check in every month along with rent, water, and power.

Semi Homemaker: Cleaning

Cleaning...it's never ending.


Laundry is the same way. I'm actually multi tasking now as I typed this out.


Eating lunch, folding 3 loads of clothes, AND cleaning up. :-/ Oh....and washing dishes as well!!! 


Thank goodness that I don't have children right now. Not sure how mother's do it!!! They get an award for being totally awesome at doing what they do best...being a full time homemaker and mother!!!!!


How on earth can yall do it all??!

Possible New Job For the Hubs

So...the hubs may have a new job soon.

Fingers crossed that he get's it. He's already had a couple of interveiw's and they both look promising. Promising to the point where they gave him a tour, talked to him about orders, how he would cook certain things and what side items he'd put with it, and 401k's. Soooo, it really looks promising.

I've gotten my hope's extremly high with other job opprotunity's that he's had in the past and those have all fallen through. It seems like mine are high yet again, but I'm trying to keep them down to a minimum.

Used to, I'd tell him that I thought it would be nice if he could have a better job so he wouldn't have to worry all the time about money and everything else. Now that we are getting married and starting a life together, it's more like I NEED him to have a better paying job to help bring in more money....he needs a STEADY paycheck.

Right now, I have the steady paycheck. I can come home with 600-800 every 2 weeks. The majority of the bills come out of my pay. It's good for now, but we could use the money to put away for a down payment for a house.

If and when he get's the new job, half of my money will be put away in savings to use as a down payment of a house. I get payed every 2 weeks, where he will get payed monthly. I'm bi-weekly and he will be salary. That's how our checks will be like...one check every 2 weeks and the other check once a month.

Seeing as how the apartment is in BOTH names, he and I will split that up somehow. The water comes in his name (not sure why), so we will take turns paying that. The power bill is in my name, so I can pay for that. Internet is in his name, so he pays for that. Charter cable is included in our monthly rent.

Right now, he adds his half of the rent to my account and then rent comes completly out of my account. His half goes in BEFORE I write a check for the rent. That way, there's still more than enough money in there.

But our plan, for now, is working out ok. We have been able to stay afloat pretty good.

The real reason behind my name

The real reason behind my name came from the fact that I work between 36 and 48 hours a week. 


Or 3-4 days a week. Day #4 is usually overtime. 


Another reason I have named myself this name is that I do the majority of the cleaning while I'm off. Cleaning the kitchen, doing the dishes, doing the laundry and then folding or hanging and then putting away. I do the majority of the cleaning around our 1200 square foot apartment. 


It's not that bad... especially when he jumps in every once and again to vacuum and dust. His main thing to keep clean and stink free is his ferret, Nismo. Fortunately, the dustbuster came today. Patrick bought it to keep the cage clean and stink/hair free...thankfully!!! hahaha!!!!!


Right now I have a load of clothes drying (they SHOULD be done here shortly) and a load of towels washing. The towels are my last load...thankfully. So, I'm just waiting for both of those loads to finish and I shall be done!!!!!


bwahahahahaha!!!!!! <----not that great of an evil laugh out loud, but it sounded AWESOME in my head. heh!!! 

Semi Homemaker: Silly me

Silly me...VERY silly me. 

I had washed several loads of clothes like 3 weeks or so ago. I put off folding/hanging/putting away until, what I promised myself would be the next day. Well that next day was this weekend. 

I had mixed clean and dirty together to the point of where my fiance and I had NO clue to what was clean and what was dirty. So to be on the safe side, I rewashed ALL clothes. 

And I am glad that I did. Now they are folded/hung and put up where they need to be. 

Note to self and others:

NEVER let your clothes get like that. Wash them, fold them, hang up the ones that gotta be hung up, and put them away in their correct spots!!!!!!!

Semi Home Maker: Engagement Pics

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.299350826813077.71493.104663386281823&type=3

That's the link for my sneak peek of my engagement pics.

Amanda Moses Photography is who did them. She did an amazing job of capturing ALL of our love.

Why I'm waiting...

I'm waiting 5-6 years before I even have kids of my own. And yes, I know that "accidents" can happen. Almost always does.

But I hope that those "accidents" don't happen to me.

Why? Because I have several things that I want to do. One of which is go to school for nursing. Another is is that I would like to travel around some before I start popping out babies. I know that last statement is kinda odd, but it's just a phrase that I use. I love kids, don't get me wrong. I just don't want to have any right now. I'm 25 (I'll be 26 this June). I, personally, am not ready for kids.

So I will be waiting 5-6 YEARS before considering becoming pregnant. Some people may look down on me and question me on why. Other's may pressure me into having a baby before I am ready for that resonsibility. Like I stated before, I would like to go to school before kids come along. My fiance is supportive of that decision. No one else in either family knows of that decision. They won't know unless they specifically ask us. I will be mean about it, too, if they choose to pressure me into having a baby.

I know good and well a lot of people will question my waiting that many years. I know some will look down on me for it. I know that others will even try to pressure me into having a child before I am ready for one. My fiance and I are the ONLY ones that know when WE are ready for a baby. Then and only then will we start trying for one. It's my body...not any one else's body.

Semi Homemaker: Regrets

I'm regretting that I ever moved in with my fiance.

Why, you ask?

The answer is that (1) my mom seems to be taking it a bit hard and (2) there's a chance that she could have breast cancer.

Yes...BREAST CANCER!!!!!

I feel horrible for not being at home. I feel like I need to move back home with her and be with her right now than in my own apartment being the adult that I need to be.

When I was a kid, I didn't really have a care in the world. I could go outside and have fun. My mom took care of all "boo boo's" that I got. She made me feel better when I was sick. Now that I've moved out, all of a sudden it seems like her world is spiraling out of control. Her oldest child (me) has moved out and is getting married. It seems like she's got a bad case of Empty Nest Syndrome. I feel horrible that she's going through it.

I know that I need to be the adult that I know I am, but at the same time, I just wanna go back home and be that little kid again...with no worries at all. No bills to pay. No rent to pay. Nothing like that. I could go the store for the both of us and all would be good.

I just wanna prove to her that I am the adult that I know that I am and to get her respect for being a responsible adult that I know that I am. But at the same time, I just wanna be that kid again...the one that she could take care of.

Semi Homemaker: Keeping A Clean House

In order for me, a self titled Semi Homemaker, to keep my apartment clean, I'd have to clean every single day!!!


Gah!!!!!! 


hahaha....well, cleaning isn't going over so well. I clean at least once a week. Sometimes once every OTHER week. I wash clothes in a random way. I don't have a set day or days of the week to clean and wash clothes and what not. 


Do I? I think I do. To keep my sanity anyways. lol!!! 


Now I understand why mama ALWAYS...FREAKING...CLEANED!!!!!! A messy house can drive you CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Makes you wanna go cross eyed. Or at least I feel that way. ha!!! Not sure about other people. 


Keeping 1200 square feet clean can be difficult, but once I get it clean, it stays that way for a few days or so. Then it's messy again. Oh well!!!


But I am getting the hang of it all. :-D

Semi Homemaker: Kindle Fire

My mom gave me a kindle fire!!!! So excited right now.

For a whilem I didn't want one. I still like my old kindle. It's not quite 5 years old and still does what I want it to do. BUT with the kindle fire, I can get aps on it, which is AWESOME!!!

Now I can get on FB and play words with friends (manderin626 if you wanna play!!) and do other things, like listening to music. So I am really enjoying my new toy, all thanks goes to my sweet mama for this AWESOME gift!!!!!!

Semi Homemaker and Lonliness

Lonliness...depression...lonliness...I can't decide which one it is.

I think it's more lonliness than anything else. Right now my fiance is working a double (yes he and I live toghether). Granted I've cleaned and watched tv and listened to music most of the day today. That's helped with my lonliness.


Sometimes, it feels like I'm depressed. Not depressed in the since that I want to hurt myself...depressed because I'm sad...sad that I'm alone. 


I've always wondered if other housewives/stay-at-home-moms/part time home makers have the same issues. Have the same lonliness that I have. Lonely for their better halves. I'm sure to some degree that people do have the lonliness that I have.


I like being busy. It helps me not to be so lonely. Also, my fiance is trying to find a much better paying job (he is currently a waiter at The Cheesecake Factory, but is looking for a management position). If he does get a better paying job, then I can go part time unbenefitted (I'll be on his insurance by then hopefully) and work 2 or 3 days a week instead of 3-4 days a week. Prayers please for him finding and receving a better paying job in the area that he wants!!! Thanks!!!!


Enough of the whoa is me stuff. On to the fact that I am gonna be getting married in October!!! October 20, 2012 to be exact!!! I already have my dress (it's currently with my mom and grandma...). 1 thing down, and about 899 more to go...or so it seems.....hehehe!!!!!


I'm excited now. For a while I wasn't excited. But now that things are coming together, I'm getting excited. :-D


Prayers (if you are the praying type) that all things go according to plan and that things get better for all.

Life of the Semi Homemaker

You read the title right!!! 


I am going to be writing about my life as a Semi Homemaker.


Semi meaning that, on my off days, I am a homemaker. I work 3-4 days per week, so I get to clean the apartment, wash the clothes, wash the dishes, and do other house hold chores while my fiance is at work. 


Fun, sometimes. Boring, sometimes. Do I always wanna do it? No. But it's a necessary evil. 


Right now, I don't have kids. Which makes my job, cleaning wise anyways, a bit easier. It's just me and Patrick. 


Today, he is working a double, which means I have the apartment to myself. 1200 square feet, 2 bedrooms, and 2 bathrooms. A full sized kitchen, den, and dining room. All of that to myself. No one bothering me. No one sitting like a bump on a log. At least I get it all to myself to clean in a nice slow time frame. 


I did promise him that I would have it all cleaned by the time he gets home tonight. 


So, I need to get off of here and get on to finishing my cleaning!!!!!